Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.
~ From the television show King of Queens, spoken by the character Doug Heffernan

After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.
~ John Pierce

Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.
~ Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

But they are useless. They can only give you answers.
~ Pablo Picasso, about computers

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
~ Author Unknown

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
~ Suzie Wagner, 1998

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.
~ Scott Adams ("Dogbert")

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
~ Scott Adams

Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.
~ Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top