If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
~ Leon Eldred

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
~ Mark Twain

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!
~ Tommy Smothers

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something.
~ Lord Chesterfield

If the pain wanders, do not waste your time with doctors.
~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The... patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don't take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop.
~ Quentin Regestein

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
~ Author Unknown

Joy and Temperance and Repose
Slam the door on the doctor's nose.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow