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My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I'm ashamed of what I think of doctors in general.
~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated.
~ Plato

Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment, for they are one and indivisible. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies.
~ C. Jeff Miller

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science.
~ Martin H. Fischer

It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
~ Author Unknown

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee.
~ Robert Burton

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
~ James H. Boren

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office.
~ Francis O'Walsh

Did God who gave us flowers and trees,
Also provide the allergies?
~ E.Y. Harburg, "A Nose Is a Nose Is a Nose," 1965