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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
~ Woody Allen

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!
~ Wendy Liebman

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.
~ Mark Twain

Smoking is one of the leading causes of Statistics.
~ Fletcher Knebel

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
~ Bill Hicks

I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself.
~ Barbara Kelly

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
~ Winston Churchill

Sooner or later, everyone stops smoking.
~ Author Unknown

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
~ Florence King