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Little children, headache; big children, heartache.
~ Italian Proverb

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
~ Laurence J. Peter

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own.
~ Logan Pearsall Smith, "Age and Death," Afterthoughts, 1931

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
~ Al Bernstein

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.
~ Larry Lujack

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
~ Dorothy Parker

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
~ Erma Bombeck

Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.
~ Karen Savage and Patricia Adams, The Good Stepmother

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes